Wisdom from a Spaniard

June 30, 2012

The most important thing that I have noticed thus far is the importance of family here in Spain.  They do not simply discard the older generations.  In fact, they treat them with love and respect much like we used to in the States.  It is very common here in Spain for members of the older generation to live with their children and grandchildren until the end of their lives.  The Martinez family is a prime example of this:  Mrs. Martinez’s mother and aunt lived with them until her mother passed away.  Sadly, Mrs. Martinez was unable to care for her aunt alone after her mother’s death and had to make the difficult decision to place her in a retirement home (this is not a common practice and generally brings much shame on the family who chooses this path).   Mrs. Martinez is NOT the typical example of a neglectful niece, however.  She goes at least once if not twice a week out to Canet de Mar (about 45 km outside of Barcelona) to visit with her aunt and take her for walks around town and on the beach.  She invites me to accompany them to visit “La tieta” (The aunt) named Victorina and I gladly accept.  Being very close to my own grandparents, I am excited at the opportunity to bring a smile to Victorina’s face.

We load up the car and head off to Canet de Mar.  It is absolutely BREATH-TAKING.  Blue waters and rocky shores all the way up the coastline.  When we arrive to visit the “Tia”, she is watching futbol on TV….this is SO typically Spanish that I have to chuckle at this 99 year old lady cheering along with the rest of her housemates for her favorite team and shouting insults at their opponents.

We approach her and tell her hello….her face lights up with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.  She thinks that I am her great-niece, Caroline, and we decide it best to just let her think she’s correct; so, from now on, I shall be Caroline to Tieta.  We tell her that we’re going for a walk and at first she protests (she wants to see the rest of the futbol match), but we insist and to my amazement, she walks over to her wheelchair and sits down.  We take her along the beach and into town where she proceeds to scarf down an ice cream cone and some “patatas bravas” (basically steak fries with a sauce that is a mixture of mayonnaise and some kind of tomato sauce).  We spend the afternoon singing old Spanish songs and she tells us stories of her childhood….she is the cutest old lady I’ve EVER met.

UPDATE:  Since this posting, I have been with Teresa (Mrs. Martinez) every week to visit Tieta and we’re becoming good friends.  She has truly brightened my life here in Spain and made me feel like I have an additional calling while I’m here in Barcelona:  to be Victorina’s friend.

Another common practice here in Spain is that of young people living at home until they get married.  Often, even working aged people in their thirties live at home if they are still unmarried.  This was a very difficult concept for me to understand at first when viewing it through my American eyes.  In the states, we place great emphasis on independence and being self-sufficient as early as possible.  In Spain, the emphasis is on family and happiness. 

For this reason, I have noticed that although economists declare Spain in a state of economic crisis, I do not notice the effects of the crisis here as much as I did at home.  Perhaps this is due to the strength of family values here.  I have encountered several families, for example, who have taken in a brother, sister, cousin, son, etc. and their family since they lost their home or job. 

I have also observed that people live on A LOT less here than we do back home.  They earn much less money and yet, they seem to be SO happy all of the time.  Surely, there are bad times and everyone has troubles, but the way that Spaniards handle hardships has me truly amazed.  Instead of becoming depressed and singing “Woe is Me”, they spend more time with their families and search for free activities throughout the city to keep their minds off of their hardships.  I truly admire the relaxed Spanish spirit.  

UPDATE: I must report that I have, in fact, gained this “relaxed Spanish spirit”.  Being an extremely Type A person, I find that I am often motivated by stress and often worry about things both within and out of my control.  This has always caused my anxiety and I’m usually pretty nervous back at home.  Since being here, I am still quite productive, but I hardly ever worry.  I get things done when they need to be done and I am responsible, but when trouble comes, I simply take it in stride.  I have come to learn that unfortunate things are going to become you no matter how well-prepared you are and no matter how much you plan your every move.  Ergo, there is no reason to worry; instead, it is best to just deal with problems calmly as they arise.  Y’all should try it!  I swear it’s a miracle =)